I am a Man With A Plan. Don't mess with it

Is it that he's a Min Pin? Or is it because he's a boy? Or is it just him? I mean the dog is barely 18 months old, and he's got a SCHEDULE and it's RIGID and don't mess with his SCHEDULE man.

If he was human he'd be the one that retired to the bathroom for an hour at precisely 9:00 a.m. and lord forfend nature not be as prompt.

The current schedule includes: I get up. I go sit on the bathroom register until Mom gets in the shower. I go to my crate before she gets out. Always. Do I go out the doggie door during that time? Mom doesn't know. I play on the bed while Mom gets dressed, then torture the Dobermans while the food is being poured. As for my food? I am a warrior, I like to be challenged. So I don't eat until the 60 pound dog with a head as big as me comes and looms over me, threatning to take it all for herself. Then I eat.very.slowly. Just to spite her.

After I eat, I go into my clubhouse crate and go back to sleep. Do not disturb me. No, I do NOT want to go out before you go to work. Leave me alone. I'll wait till lunch.

Lunchtime. I go outside, I smell the news, I putter around. Here? No, that's not quite the right spot today. How about over here? Hmmmm, not sure, let me check this spot first. (fifteen minutes later), oh, hey, perfect spot!

When Mom gets home it's time to play. Yes, you have to. No, not playing is not an option. Play, play, play and if you really love me you'll take me to Bradford. Short of that, you better entertain me.

8:30. Time for my last walk. No, I'll let myself out thank you.

9:00. Time for bed. I don't care if you're ready, I'm ready. I expect you up here, providing me with a custom person-cushion.

Thank you for your cooperation. Set in my ways? No, not at all!