Musical Bones

You know, you think you're doing a special good deed for the dogs and it just all goes wonky.

Every once in a blue moon I allow my dogs to have pressed rawhide bones. This is a big deal because I generally think rawhides are a waste of money, and also because I have to buy them at Petco which sells rodents and fish. I really don't like pet stores that sell anything living.

Why pressed rawhide? Because it's the only thing that lasts more than 5 minutes in the Jaws of Death (Cala). She can't rip huge chunks off the pressed rawhide like she can the regular stuff, so it's also safer.

So I come home today with 3 bones. I own 3 dogs. One bone per dog, right? Well that lasted about 15 minutes. Jaws of Death settled down with hers immediately out in the living room. Viva, the old gal, had hers on the couch and Zipper brought his to his crate. Ah, all is blissful in the world.

Until Viva decided to bring her bone into the office. There was a blur of darting motion and suddenly Zipper (the 10# dog) was in his crate with two bones, both bigger than he is, and Viva (the 65# dog) was blinking in bemusement at the empty floor in front of her. She looked at the floor, she looked at Zipper, and calmly walked over to take her bone back.

With absolutely no respect for seniority or size, Zipper told her to get her face out of his business. So she mooed at him. Then she looked at me with a pitiful "but I'm old and it was mine and now he has it, do something" look.

So I take the bone away from Zipper and give it to Viva. Who decides she doesn't want her bone back, she wants HIS bone. So I give her bone back to Zipper and give her Zipper's bone, and then she decides she wants her bone back. Meanwhile, the second I let go, he steals both of them again.

This goes on for about 10 minutes. I finally give up trying to equalize things. And Viva takes Zipper's bone, gives him her bone, and bliss descends.

Then Cala comes in with her bone in her mouth, takes both of theirs (I think the Jaws of Death can unhinge her lower jaw somewhat like a snake), and trots back out to the living room with all three.

I give up.

How to get a flop dog

Patented recipe for creating a Flop Dog.

Take one small dog.

Drive to breeder's house and drop off dog for the day, to be summarily popped into a yard with two other dogs who are both friendly and playful.

Add one bitch in season.

Add one other dog, in an adjacent yard, who has sired puppies by said bitch, and who thinks your dog should die, now, for being within a mile of said bitch in season.

Leave to percolate for one entire day.

Pick up said dog about 8:00 p.m.

Guaranteed flop dog. All attempts to awaken from his coma-like sleep are useless. Leave until morning, when he will once again morph into a Miniature Pinscher.

Lumps and bumps

Seems like everything at my house is lumpy and bumpy this week. Cala has had a bump that Zipper has been gleefully working over, so now she has a lovely nickel-sized bald spot right in the middle of her back. Zipper and Viva are both itching like crazy. Viva gets this way every summer, Zipper, we've decided, gets chiggers. He's also pulled a ligament in his left rear leg, so no running around like a crazy dog. Except that has him bouncing off the walls and trust me, a Min Pin really can bounce off the walls (and floor, and couch, and bed, and chairs). Keeping him corralled is slightly less difficult than herding cats.

Even my van is lumpy. I somehow picked up a huge wad of heat-softened tar on my left rear wheel and it's proving devilish to remove. It doesn't seem to be hurting anything but I keep thinking my tire is flat.

Very little training this week, it's hot. Blast-furnace hot. I have to teach a class tomorrow night, but other than that I'm staying far, far away from the training building. A martyr I am not.